● Promoting Quality Child Care
What do you know about domestic violence?
FAMILY Domestic
Violence Services
(call any of the numbers below)
(845) 338-2370
(845) 679-2485
(845) 255-8801
(845) 647-2443
Domestic
Violence Court Advocate
●
(845) 340-3617
To be effective as an advocate for ending domestic violence, it is important to educate yourself about the serious personal and social costs of battering. To help a friend or loved one who is being abused, or who is abusive, it is important to know that domestic violence is not an isolated problem.
There are also many other resources where you can find out information to help you become an informed advocate to end family violence.
If you want to know more about gay or lesbian domestic abuse, click here.
Did You Know?
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Between three and four million women are battered each year. 85%–95% of all victims are female.
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More than 1,750,000 workdays are lost each year due to domestic violence.
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Each year, an estimated 3.3 million children witness their mothers or female caretakers being abused.
More Facts About Domestic Violence
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This year, about 450,000 women will be beaten between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
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Battering is the single largest cause of injury to women in the United States.
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In homes where there is spouse abuse, children are abused or seriously neglected at a rate 1500 percent higher than the national average.
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About 30 percent of all women seeking treatment in hospital emergency rooms are victims of wife beating.
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Nearly 50 percent of abusive husbands batter their wives when they are pregnant, making them 4 times more likely to bear infants of low birth weight.
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One-third of all domestic violence cases, if reported, would be classified by police as felony rape, robbery, or aggravated assault.
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More than half of all homeless women are on the street because they are fleeing domestic violence.
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There are nearly three times as many animal shelters in the United States Last year, the number of women abused by their husbands was greater than the number of women who got married.
Domestic Violence: Dispelling the Myths
Myth 1: Domestic abuse is a new
social problem.
Fact: Woman abuse is not new. It
has been condoned throughout history. For example, the widely used term
"rule of thumb" comes from a 1767 English common law that permitted a
husband to "chastise his wife with a whip or rattan no wider than his
thumb."
Myth 2: Domestic abuse occurs
more often among certain groups of people.
Fact: Domestic abuse occurs in
all ethnic, racial, economic, religious, and age groups. It occurs in
the same percentage of gay and lesbian relationships as heterosexual
ones. However, violence in more affluent groups is often hidden because
these people use shelters, legal clinics, and other social services less
often.
Myth 3: Women remain in abusive
relationships because they want to stay.
Fact: A woman may feel she cannot leave for many reasons, including. . .
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She loves her abuser and hopes the relationship will get better.
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She feels it is wrong to break up the family. Her larger family may be telling her this is so.
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Her partner's abuse has isolated her from friends and family.
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She is afraid her family and community will blame her for the abuse, or she feels ashamed and already blames herself.
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She fears for her own and her children's safety because he has threatened to harm her if she leaves.
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She depends upon her partner's income.
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She has nowhere else to go.
Myth 4: Alcohol causes men to
assault their partners.
Fact: Research shows that the
use of alcohol tends to be associated more with violence in cultures
where alcohol is used as an excuse for socially unacceptable behavior.
Many abusers claim that they were "unconscious" because they were drunk
or high, and that they had no control over their actions. However, a
truly "unconscious" person would not be able to perform behavior that
they have not performed in the past, and they will not be able to carry
out new or unlearned behavior unless they are conscious of their
actions. The real cause of partner assault is the batterer's need for
power and control over his partner. Batterers often use alcohol as an
excuse to avoid taking responsibility for abusive behavior.
Myth 5: Men who assault their
partners are mentally ill.
Fact: The psychological characteristics of batterers are extremely diverse, so much so that no one pathology can be linked to battering. Research shows that no personality traits or clinical factors set abusive men apart from the general population. This is supported by a recent study in which one in five men living with a woman admitted to using violence against his partner.
Most men who assault their
partners are not violent outside the home. They do not hit their bosses
or colleagues. When abusive men hit their partners, they often aim the
blows at parts of the body where bruises don't show. If abused men were
truly mentally ill, they could not selectively limit and control their
violence.
Myth 6: Women often provoke
assaults and deserve what they get.
Fact: Violence is a tool men use to control and overpower women. Abusive men know their wives or girlfriends are frightened of them and use violence as a method of control. When a man is inclined to be violent, there is no behavior or response a woman can use to prevent or stop his abuse. She can yell at him, she can hit back, she can run away or even withdraw, and he will still be violent.
Some men expect their wives to
know what they want without telling them. These men then blame their
wives when they don’t do what’s expected. In this way, men create
“provocation” in their own minds, through their own expectations. For
example, assaulted women have reported that their husband or boyfriend
abused them because: "I fried his eggs the wrong way," "I didn't turn
down the radio enough," or "I went out with friends without asking his
permission." Men then attempt to justify the abuse of their wives as
"she deserved it." A man who abuses often claims his partner provoked an
assault, to avoid taking responsibility for his own behavior and his
need to control his partner. No woman, no child, no person, ever
deserves to be beaten or emotionally or psychologically abused.
Myth 7: Men are abused by their
partners as often as women are.
Fact: Research has found that
wife assault constitutes the largest proportion of family violence,
almost 76%, as opposed to 1.1% for husband assault. Furthermore, more
than 93% of charges related to spousal assault are brought against men.
Most charges laid against women are counter-charges laid by an
assaultive partner or stem from acts of self-defense.
Myth 8: Most sexual assault
happens between people who don't know each other.
Fact: Between 70% and 85% of
women who are sexually assaulted are assaulted by men they know. Six of
every ten sexual assaults take place in a private home, and four of
every ten take place in a woman's home.
Myth 9: Pregnant women are free
from the violent attacks of the men they live with.
Fact: Of the one quarter of all women who have experienced violence at the hands of a current or past marital partner, 21% were assaulted during pregnancy. 40% of these women reported that the abuse began during pregnancy. Some reasons why men abuse during pregnancy include:
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There is added financial stress.
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The fetus becomes the center of attention, triggering a man’s jealousy and fears of abandonment, which he deals with through violence.
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Abusive men may view the fetus as an intruder and the pregnancy as something out of their control, over which they try to exert control.
Myth 10: Children who grow up in
violent homes become violent when they are adults.
Fact: In one shelter for
battered women, one of four children reported that it was okay for a man
to hit a woman if the house is messy. After group counseling, none of
the children believed it was okay. Children who have seen family
violence often become abusers themselves because violence is the
behavioral model they grew up with. But children are also very open to
learning otherwise and realizing that acting violently is not the way to
feel good about themselves.
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FAMILY’s Services to
End Domestic Violence (Click Below for Contact Information) |
Signs of Abuse
Tips for
helping if you think someone is being abused
Developing a Safety Plan
Signs
of Abuse in Lesbian and Gay Relationships
Homosexual Battering Versus Straight Battering
Gay/Lesbian/Transdomestic Violence Resource & Information Safety Plan
Information about Teen Dating Violence
Other Useful
Resources
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center:
Other Counties and Contact Points for Domestic Violence Services
●
FAMILY Shelter
●
Non-residential
Counseling Services
●
Evolve
● Ending Domestic Violence Homepage
● Is there violence in your family?
● What do you know about domestic violence?
● You can help end domestic violence
Featured Story
Gertrude never planned to call FAMILY. In November of 1998 she was a mother in New Paltz working two jobs. She was in college. Her relationship with her youngest child’s father had recently turned ugly...
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Click box for entire story |
